"She rolls out of bed
he covers his eyes
it's a mad dash to the bathroom
to throw on her disguise
she thinks he finds that beautiful..."
--Dan Tangelson, "Factory" lyrics
Lately I have been pretty disturbed by the concept of "beauty" as it is portrayed in the public eye.
I begin with a quiz for you:See these girls? These five busted a move to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" during a World of Dance performance two years ago wearing outfits akin to what you'd find in the musical Chicago during the "Cell Block Tango" scene, complete with fishnets, lingerie-style tops and plenty of grinding. Can you guess how old they are? Hold on to that number--I'll come back to this.
Britain's over-night celebrity Samantha Brick recently shook the internet with a piece she wrote about the woes of being "too beautiful." Brick described the legions of men willing to do her favors, the scores of jealous women she encountered, and the general changes in attitude towards her once she grew out of her awkward youth and blossomed into adulthood. While her message was pretty sincere and meant as a critique on society's tendency to order one another in a hierarchy of beauty, she was immediately and fiercely attacked for what she wrote.
"She's not even that beautiful!" scornful viewers ranted after seeing Brick appear on a morning news show a month ago. Within weeks the feedback exploded--the interview even had to be taken off of several internet video sites, overloaded with negative comments from women who felt Brick was simply a narcissistic attention-grabber. In all of the chaos everyone forgot the essence of Brick's argument, emulating exactly the kind of behavior she pointed out was so shallow--obsession of outer beauty.
Blogger Jenny McCartney sympathized with Brick's plight and noted society's obsession with beauty in the following statement:
The human race has always been obsessed by physical beauty, but never as relentlessly as in this age, in which we are constantly bombarded with fresh images of physical perfection. These are often of models, who are not only extraordinarily pretty but also extremely young, who have been elaborately coiffed and made up by experts, shot in the most flattering poses and light, and then had their images digitally retouched to erase any lingering imperfections. The prevalence of such pictures – in magazines, on the internet, on billboards, television and public transport – ensures that artful images of the tiny minority who have won the genetic lottery are almost as frequently before our eyes as the faces of family or colleagues.
One hundred years ago it would have been absurd--obscene, even--to ask a child to expose her body to a panel of judges in front of the world and be rated things like "Overall Most Beautiful." (Really, how would a toddler deal with the news that they are not the most beautiful? How do you tell your child "I'm sorry sweetie, you just aren't pretty enough"?) Aside from the therapy that I'm sure these girls will undergo in adulthood, the negative impact from shows like this has become increasingly obvious. Young women, now more than ever in history, are being told that their bodies are what will make them or break them in society. And if you can't emulate the sex symbols, models, beauty pageant winners of today, well then, you just aren't pretty enough.
On a personal level, it pains me to see this kind of mind-screwing. I was blessed to have parents and friends who never made me feel smaller because of my body, and I think that this upbringing helped me feel more confident to pursue the things I wanted: participating in ballet for ten years, never feeling embarrassed in a swimsuit, even trying salsa dancing for the first time this year.
But I am not unaffected by the world's distorted view of beauty. Earlier this week I stepped on my house-mate's bathroom scale and was deflated to see I'd gained six pounds. Outwardly, my appearance has not changed much, but on the inside my insecurities can be dominating. When I walked into a recent interview I unconsciously sucked my tummy in the whole time, trying to be smaller.When I went to formal dances in high school I was incredibly aware of how my plain black dress looked next to the elaborate gowns of other girls, how amateur my attempts at make-up and hair styling were, and how awkward of a dancer I really was. The first guy to ever call me beautiful nearly knocked me to the floor. Me? Beautiful?
There are only two times in my life that I've felt truly beautiful:
--when I was eight and my mom gave me a new velvet dress for my baptism, and
--at my wedding.
The rest of the time I have to catch myself mid-comparison to someone and else and say NO--you are fine the way you are!
Remember the picture from earlier? The five girls who starred in "Single
Ladies," amassing over 5 million views on Youtube, were SEVEN YEARS
OLD. You might think there is something fundamentally wrong with
exposing kids
that young to a sex-status this mature, but by entertainment standards,
you'd be in the minority.I think Dan Tangelson said it best with his song, (aptly titled) "Beauty Is":
"Beauty is a ten-story building,
beauty is a parking garage,
beauty is a desert oasis
if it's not some thirsty man's mirage.
...
Beauty is the voice of my father,
beauty is the life of my son,
beauty is the plea of a sinner
when he says: "all my wicked days are done."
It's in your mind, (it's in your mind)
beauty's in your mind."
Beauty is "to each his own." Beauty, ladies, is in all of you. Stand tall and be proud of what's in you!
*Images from Google*
Link to 7-year old "Single Ladies": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir8BO4-7DkM
Link to Jenny McCartney's blog on Samantha Brick: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/9191482/The-moral-of-the-Samantha-Brick-brouhaha-is-that-self-dislike-is-the-new-vanity.html
